Benton's Books

Blog Moving

2007-05-11T17:40:00-05:00

This blog will be moving to MySpace over the next few weeks. Dorp on by and join my friends list and continue to read my blog.

Blog Moving

2007-05-11T17:40:48-05:00

This blog will be moving to MySpace over the next few weeks. Drop on by and join my friends list and continue to read my blog.

War Paint

2007-02-24T18:04:37-06:00

Lachesis Publishing has just signed a contract to publish "War Paint", since Capri Publishing folded. It has had some great endorsements including one by Don Bendell. Of all of my books, this is my favorite, although after about the fifth proofing, it did get a little old. It is not only historically done, but has a good plot to go along with it. Click here to read an excerpt.

Rough Couple of Months

2007-02-24T17:56:01-06:00

Finally Saga books is publishing "Missouri in Flames, I Rode with Jesse James and I expect it to be released within the next month or so. It's a pretty good read, if you like historical fiction. You can read an excerpt here.

Sandy Claws

2006-12-08T23:19:01-06:00

Sandy Claws

Bubba and I were sitting at his kitchen table sharing a cold sweet tea. While his wife and mine went shoppin’, we were to assemble the Christmas toys for the kids. We had put together a small red wagon and did it in a real smart time, just a little over four hours. Now, we were takin’ a much-deserved break.

“Dang, Mule, these toys are a-getting’ harder to put together each year.” Bubba said in a frustrated voice as he raised his ice tea glass and took a big swallow. I noticed he had beads of sweat on his forehead.

“Yep, I would never have imagined a red wagon with anti-lock breaks, an OSHA required safety harness, and a computerized dashboard. They jess didn’t make ‘em like that when we was a-growin’ up.” I felt the same frustration Bubba Lee did. I mean, here we were, two growed up men and we took four hours to put a toy together that was recommended for a child four years old. What in the world was the matter with the two of us?

“Well, I ‘spect we would have done better if I had not be a-holdin’ the di-rections upside down until we was ‘bout done.” Bubba admitted his mistake, which was as rare as a yankee banker loanin’ money without some of that collateral stuff.

I watched Bubba take his last drink from the ice tea glass. He got up, walked to the sink and put his glass inside. He turned, gave me a big twisted grin, and pulled out his Deadman Chewin’ tobacco. I watched as he packed his left cheek to the point he looked like my hamster would have, after placin’ a fifteen-pound turkey in his cheeks.

I was amazed as he turned to me and said in an almost clear voice, “Ya want a beer?”

“Why shore, don’t mind if I do. But it’s a bit early ain’t it? I mean, it isn’t even ten in the mornin’ yet.” I was a bit shocked that he would offer a beer that early in the day. But then again, very little Bubba said or did ever really shook me up too much.

“I never drink a-fore five in the afternoon.” Bubba smiled once more, got up and walked to the clock hanging over the stove. Taking the clock down, he adjust the hands until, you guessed it, it was five o’clock.

“Well, now, Bubba, since hits five, shore, gimme one.” I had to let out a chortle at the man’s imagination. Only my cousin Bubba would do something like that and think nothing of doing it either.

Bubba opened two beers and placed them on the table. He then bent over and pulled a big box, containing the bicycle he had bought Bubba Junior for the Holiday, to his side. He pulled the top flap on the box open, looked inside, turned kind of pale, reached over and picked up his beer. Without saying even one word to guzzled about half of the drink.

“Bubba, seriously man, it’s too early to drink like that. What is goin’ on?” I had to ask. The man looked like JFK had just walked into the room.

He looked me in the eyes and said, “Mule, do you ‘member grandpa Patton a-tellin’ us boys to always be smarter than what you was a-werkin’ on?”

“Of course I do, Bubba, and he was right. Why did you bring that up?” I was getting more corn-fused as the conversation continued.

“Well, to tell ya the truth, we is in oveh our heads with this heah bicycle. Ain’t no way we can put this thang together. It’s sad too, ‘cause I got one of the B.S. dee-grees and you to one of them Masters dee-grees. And, I bet ya, neither one of us can figure these heah bike out.”

Yep, you got a B.S. degree all right Bubba, I thought as I walked over the container and pulled the directions out of the top of the box.

I went back to my chair, took a slight sip of my beer and turned to readin’ the di-rections fer a-puttin’ that bike together. Take wheel #A and place it in slot #F, of rear frame #7, and screw on nut #46, over washer #C, and tighten with tool B, supplied with the parts bag. I could follow it so far, but then there was a problem…..the language up to that point had been English. I was confused now. I felt like the dawg that peed on an electric fence, I just didn’t belong here anymore.

“Bubba, my eyes must be a-goin’ bad. This isn’t English is it?” I asked as I pass the twenty-eight page instruction booklet to him.

Bubba looked at the page for a few very silent minutes before he said, “Nope, looks like Chinee to me, er, mayhap Arabic. Whatever hit is, it don’t pay no neveh mind, ‘cause me and you cain’t read it anyways.”

We dumped the parts of the bicycle out onto the floor of his kitchen. For a long time neither one of us spoke. Finally, after scratchin’ our head, opening another beer, we admitted defeat, “I ain’t gonna ‘tempt hit Mule. I’m gonna give that greasy faced kid at Meral’s Hardware ten dollars to put it together fer me. I figure he can use the money to buy some acne medi’kashun.”

We put the bike parts back inside the box and moved it over next to the bookcase with the lava lamp. Over the next four hours we put together a dollhouse, an electric oven that cooked cookies, and a ball stand for a tee-ball set.

I was sitting there amazed at how little we had accomplished in the time the girls had been gone. I mean, we were both educated, Bubba was a paid auto mechanic and own his own business, I was a professional writer, and we could not put some simple toys together for Christmas? Finally, totally frustrated, I asked Bubba for another beer.

With fresh beers in our hands, we retired to the living room and turned on the telly-vision. And, us being men, and you know how bad our luck is if you are a man, our wives took that exact moment to return home.

“Ricky, I’m home!” Maude yelled in her best Lucy imitation as she entered the mo’bile home.

“Lucy, don’t look now, but I think Fred and Ricky been in the beer.” My wife Beverly had to say to show her disappointment in our behavior.

“We are takin’ a break, that’s all.” Bubba said and then gave a loud burp.

Maude walked over to the sink, opened the door below it and looked inside the trash. She turned to Bubba and placed both of her hands on her hips as she said, “Must be one whale of a break Bubba Lee! There’s eight empty beer cans in the trash and there was a brand new twelve pack in the fridge when I left heah to go shoppin’!”

Bubba looked like a coon treed with a ground full of hounds. His eyes were big, his mouth was open and drooling, his head twitched from the left to the right, and the veins in his neck were beginning to swell and turn red. I know I was an idiot, but I laughed.

“What you laughin’ at you redneck fool! We leave y’all ‘lone fer a few hours and you turn to drinkin’. Everythang ain’t done with a beer in hand.” My wife was a bit upset it seemed as well.

Bubba, suddenly spoke, “Name somthang I cain’t do with a beer in my hand! I even brushed my teeth with beer in Vee-it-nam, durin’ the war a-course.”

“Bubba, I done heerd ‘nough outta you. You ain’t in no Vee-it-nam, you're in ‘Possum Holler county and I ‘spect you to act like it. “ Maude turned her head and gave Beverly a big grin.

“Maude, the di-rections fer that bicycle are a terrible mess. Hit’s all written in Chinese er somethang. We cain’t even read it.” It was the best I could do, but I had to come to our rescue or at least throw them two ladies off track. If they had been beagles I would have thrown them a bone.

“Let me see it, Mule.” Maude came over to the box, which was now beside my chair.

I opened the box, took out the directions and handed them to Maude. I noticed Bubba had an evil grin on his face. Maude, looked at the booklet a few minutes and then walked over, opened the door to the wood stove and threw it in. I almost lost my mind as I watched the fire consume the booklet. Now, granted it was in Chinese, but it was all we had to go by.

“Maude, my goodness, why did you do that? What are we goin’ to use to put Junior’s bike together with now?” Bubba was standing and I could tell he was angry, ‘cause he spits a lot when he’s upset.

Maude, said not a word. She walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out two beers. As soon as she had opened them, she brought one to me and one to Bubba. She smiled, looked at both of us and said, “You two aint’ gonna put the bike together. I am with the hep of Beverly. You two sit there, enjoy yer beers, and watch how the experts do it.”

Bubba, who had just taken a drink of his beer, suddenly choked. As soon as he caught his breath he asked in a low raspy voice, “Since when did you learn to read Chinee, Maude? I mean ifn we still had the booklet.”

“Bubba Lee, I am a woman. And to make it even better, I am a REDNECK WOMAN! I don’t need no di-rections. I will have this thang together faster than an egg suckin’ dawg can clean out a henhouse full of eggs.”

“Well, if you do, and I ain’t a-sayin’ you can, or cain’t, but if you do, I will go with ya to the VRW with one of yer dresses on. Mayhap that bright yeller one of yourn. Plus, I will call you Sandy Claws until New Years Day.” As soon as he had spoken, Bubba laughed so hard his eyes watered at the thought of Maude puttin’ that bike together.

I can tell you, it was something to see a real pro at work. In less than an hour Maude had the bike together and every component of it working perfectly. What really surprised me was the fact that there were no parts left over. Most of us guys always have some left over parts, even after putting in a light bulb.

Now, Bubba, he didn’t know what to do. He had shot his big mouth off in front of three witnesse’s, make that four if you counted the beagel asleep unner the coffee table. He looked kinda sheepish as he finished the last can of beer. He didn’t say a word. I guess he hoped the women had forgotten his promise to wear a dress to the club if they could put it together.

“Ok, Bubba Lee, y’all go and get dressed so we can go down to the VRW fer dinner. You been a-drinkin’ so I am doin’ the drivin’.” Maude said with a immense smile on her face. Her eyes were full mischief as she spoke.

“Maude, now, baby doll, you don’t thank I was ser’ous ‘bout that dress wearin’ stuff do ya?”

“Bubba, I said fer you to get yer hind-end into that bedroom and change. You have a dress to wear and I have a bet to collect. And, ‘member, my name ain’t Maude, hits Sandy Claws until the first of January.” She put her hands on her broad hips as she spoke. I could see she was determined to teach Bubba a lesson on ree-spectin’ ladies.

My man Bubba got up, adjusted his ball cap, and started walking toward the bedroom. He never made it. When he got to the front door, out he went. He didn’t even take the time to close the door. As he ran across the barnyard toward the smokehouse, I heard him yell, “I hain’t a-wearin’ no danged dress! Not fer you, nor nobody else! You can ferget it!”

“Where is he going Maude?” Beverly asked through her tears of laughter.

“To the smokehouse. It is the warmest place around. He will wait fer y’all to leave and then he will be back. He’s a bit on the embarrassed side.”

I guess I was laughing up there with the women folk. I found the situation so funny I wasn’t even aware I was doing it. The ladies though, they knew.

“And, what are you laughing at Mule?” Maude asked in a very stern voice.

“Not a thing Maude. Well, Beverly, it’s getting late and we both have to work in the mornin’. I think it’s time fer us to head to the barn.”

“Nope, me and Maude got some gifts to wrap. You wanna go home, you walk home. You been a-drinkin’.” I jknew she was right, but Beverly had spent way too many hours with Maude that day.

I walked the mile home, and I laughed the whole way. Bubba shore would have looked down right purty in a bright yeller dress. I wonder is she would have done the boys hair up too?

The Death of a Man

2006-12-07T03:39:27-06:00

Most of us have been following the news about the man who was recently found dead in the mountains. I spent years teaching survival to the US Military and his death bothers me, as well, I'm sure many others. No one will ever know what he was thinking as he started out on his trip, hoping to find help, but I'm sure the safey and health of his family was on his mind. It would have been on mine. I guess what bothers me the most is the fact kids were involved and that changes a person in a survival situation a great deal. The survivor is no long concerned about just their own survival, but the survival of those they love and who depend on them for safety.

All over the net I've read hints about how to survive in the cold and some are to be taken with a grain of salt. I've had survival training as low as -20 and in the arctic, and for days as a time, so I know a bit about what I am talking about here. Personally, I'd never run my car engine, due to the dangers of carbon monoxide, but with kids, who knows what I might do to try to make them more comfortable. I do know a shelter in the trees, made of pine boughs, and covered with snow can keep you at a fairly comfortable temperature (but, no, it never gets really warm and hot is out of the question). But, with a small child, well, the car might be the best. Like many survival situations, you have to be the person having the experience to make the decision, but the wrong one and someone may die. It's easy for us to think about what the man should have done, because we are in our warm homes now and not out fighting to stay alive.

One aspect of survival I have been taught and I've taught for years, never leave the scene of a stalled vehicle or aircraft crash unless you are forced to do so (life threatening situations, i.e., forest fire, mud slide, flood, etc.). Unless you have absolute NO doubt where you are, where you will be going, and how to get there. It is very difficult to find a single person meandering in the woods, but much easier to spot a car or crashed plane.

Most causes of death of those who walk away from a winter survival situation are related to hypothermia. Once the injury kicks in, well, the brain stops functioning as it normally would. Most victims shed clothing, walk like they are very drunk, and eventually fall victim to the cold and freeze. There are many more symptoms, but those are the main one.

To the man's family, I'll say this, he was a very determined and brave man! He thought of his family before himself.

Gary

Holidays

2006-12-01T13:37:40-06:00

What is it about the Holidays and women? My wife promised me, no new decorations and that was over $200 ago. They seem, and perhaps it's a woman thing, to want new decorations each year. Now, if it was me, I'd hang a wreath or two, a string of lights, and put up a tree...and I'm done. I have nothing against the season, but lets get real here....why do the whole house for ONE day? Even our bathroom has decorations in it, as if I'd really notice when I need to go.

The idea behind the season has been lost and it has become commercialized to the point it's no longer a season of giving, but of buying. I dislike that and can remember times of giving. Often, when I was young, we gave something old that we owned to someone who liked it...but now, each kid gets X number of dollars spent and this person gets some much and so on...I don't like that at all. Come on, make the season as it should be; one of giving and accepting the gift as it is given and it the mood it is given.

Gary

Vietnam suffers toxic legacy

2006-11-13T14:41:37-06:00

WR Benton, 1973 Southeast Asia

The Headlines on MSN read, Vietnam suffers toxic legacy...and that bothers me. I read the ariticle and it may be valid, I'm no doctor, but if the Vietnamese people have medical problems associated with Agent Orange, don't our vets?

Personally, due to the war, I am no great lover of the country, although I will admit I am wrong in my thinking. It is unwise for me to dislike a group, or nation, of folks based on my service in SEA, but I do. I think the whole country was/is corupt and dishonest, but my view is a personal one and may be wrong.

During the war, Agent Orange was used to kill the forest and jungle, which would prevent the V.C. from having a place to hide, or so the idea was. ANY chemical, as far as I am concerned, is dangerous to use and I trust them not. IF the Vietnamese as actually having birth problems, two or three generations removed from the war...what of our vets? In one case MSN states there is no link between Agent Orange and the medicals problems suffered by Vietnam Vets, but yet runs an article that states the country is now having severe medical problems due to the chemical...get it together folks. If it affects one group, you know the others are affected.

What Vietnam wants, and you can bet your rice bowl on this, is a chunk of money to clean up the chemical. Once paid, the money will never see the person on the street (or ricefield if you will) and a few polictical misfits will grow rich. The governement of Vietnam is simply attempting to make the US look bad and they've been doing it for years. They did it during the war, but we've yet to learn that the country is great at psychology and the use of the press....wake up America and smell the fish sauce.

As far as I am concerned, LOL, you really don't want to know, but many Vets know my thoughts and I don't even need to speak them. If our Vets are told there is no medical problems associated with Agent Orange, let's tell the Vietnamese the same thing....or, is there more behind all of this than we know?

WR Benton

Kids and heart problems

2006-11-13T13:27:01-06:00

I just read a report that started with, "Children with risk factors for heart disease, including high cholesterol and diabetes, are showing signs of narrowing and hardening of the arteries, conditions normally associated with adults, a study said."

I wonder why? I have never liked the fast food trash that is fed to kids. Parents seem to select those food items that take the least time to prepare, are microwaved and then given to the kid like they are horses. I've seen it often enough in my own family. Few kids today have been exposed to real home cooking and that is a shame. But, a bigger shame is, their parents have no idea how to cook....and I'm being honest here. Today, if you gave most women or men a chunk of raw beef, some potatoes, cabbage, carrots and other veggies, they would turn their noses up....not sure what to do. This fast food stuff is great, if you're out shopping and need a meal, but to eat it for dinner, I think not.

Now, I don't want to come across as "holier than thou", because I eat fast food at times. If there is a valid reason I cannot have a "normal" meal, I will eat out. But, compared to the 50's and 60's, I think (I have no facts here) that more people rely on fast food, simply because (1) they don't know how to cook, (2) it's faster and less of a pain in the rear to buy it than cook it, (3) they are lazy. Most of the problem I think, is number 3.

So, when little fat butted Billy comes from the doctor and he's told he has a problem with his heart, I wonder why? Come on, learn to cook heathy foods (great suggestion from a redneck), Get the boy some real, honest to God, exercise and follow the doctors orders.

Kids today, I am not being negative, I've seen it in my own family, do very little in the way of exercise or real work. They spend most of their time in front of the T.V. or a game of some sort. Not good. Get 'em off of their asses and doing something outdoors...football, baseball, or hiking. Most have NO idea of what a full day of work is (Which is another area I won't touch right now) and to be honest, they are pampered. Exercise will reduce the high cholesterol in most kids today.

When I grew up, we had fatback, fried everything, and ate a lot of high cholesterol types of foods, but we worked hard and long hours. The difference, I think, is the laid back attitude of people today. See, we ate deadly foods, but we worked hard and that made up for it. If most folks did a little physical work, the high cholesterol levels would drop. But, when you combine the lack of work, the desire to stay in front of the "tube" or to play games, you've got medial problems.

So, when little Billy has medical problems, blame your own buns, not him or wonder why. The foods of the past would have killed most folks today due to the high cholesterol level in most of them...but we didn't have the T.V., Games, or sit on our butts all day.

It's time to get real, or our kids will start to die.

WR Benton

As a Veteran

2006-11-12T00:22:18-06:00

Ya know, I've been around the military for over 35 years and I don't consider myself special, but I guess to some folks I am. Most Veterans are, I guess, a lot like me. They might be your dad, mom, the mail carrier, or your doctor. The above picture was taken in southeast Asia, in 1973, when I was just a young kid. But, many of my friends died as young kids and most never had the chance to face a very long life. I consider myself very lucky to have been in the military, although I carried it a bit long and served for over 26 years, and I've never had a moment of regret. Oh, I get emotional each Veteran's Day, only it's for reasons most of you will never understand. I don't, not so much, remember the dead, but remember the living Vets I know. We were just kids, most of my career and facing such difficult times together. I will never be as close to any person in my life again as I was with "Rap" Brown (hello brother), Stony Burke, Lujan (Rest in peace my friend), or Tony Turner. You may be surprised, but I served with those jokers for over a year and most of them I don't have a real first name, just a nick name we called them. I salute each of you for your service and your sacrifices...we could have run to Canada or went to school, but we didn't.

The next time you speak to a veteran remember, they are normal people, although they may have been to hell and back, they survived. They may be anyone you know, so don't judge others and suspect they are suffering from some sort of mental disorder from combat...LOL...they may be suffering from a disorder, but it may not be from battle.

To my fellow Veteran's, I am honored to have served and I respectfully call you brother or sister, without even knowing you. I have more in common with you than most folks and most importantly, I KNOW I can trust you with my life.

A big salute to America's Vets and a question to those who avoided service? You reap all the rewards of being an American, but what has been the expense to those who served? Blood, and paid by others, not you. That's all I had to say.